From Engineering to Public Relations: Navigating the career pivot

Excerpt from my personal diary (dated 26 January 2021)

Dear Journal,

There's a lot of confusion in my life right now. There are a lot of fears running through my head. I don't really have anyone to confide in. I hope everything works out in the end.

The first diary I ever maintained was when I was 14 years old and had just finished reading The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank. I was fascinated by the concept of detailing your deepest thoughts on the pages of a book. In that process, I realised that the version of me that I present to myself differs vastly from the one I present to the world. Another realisation that dawned upon me was that maintaining a diary at that age, helped me come to terms with a lot of dilemmas that tend to rear their ugly head in one's adolescence. I'm not sure where that diary is anymore, but just as I turned 24, the idea of maintaining another diary seemed the most ideal.

You see, I was at a rather odd stage in my life. While I was no longer bogged down by the 'obstacles' of my teenage years, I was facing difficulties making some choices in my 'adult' life. The roots for those difficulties spread sometime in August 2019. So, let's take a trip down (my) memory lane, shall we?

In 2018, I was working as a structural engineer. While I did not particularly loathe my job, I was simply unhappy doing it - I wasn't a good engineer and it was not a job I was passionate about. I know that people tend to roll their eyes on hearing the word 'passion', but I'd like to quote my wise aunt here - "When you're passionate about something, you're driven to do better. And when you're driven, you're at your happiest."

In August 2019 (funny how one tends to remember the exact timeline of their emotional breakdown), I cried in the washroom of my office. The reason for my outburst was that I was scared. I did not see myself being an engineer for the rest of my life, but I also had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. My first reaction was to think that I had ruined my life by venturing into the wrong career. The second reaction was one that is second nature to most Indian children - if I were to quit, I would be bringing shame to my family.

The next step was to inform my parents about my unhappiness. That did not go down well, to say the least. My father and I did not speak to each other for nearly 6 months. Now in my (sort of) late 20s, I see where he was coming from. His daughter was venturing into the unknown and as a parent, he was scared for his child. Your parents will mostly wish the best for you, but generational differences will obviously influence the way they react. For our parents, a job was a means to earn money for the family. To put the food on the table, as my parents would say. For my generation, things have changed. A job is something we seek purpose from and if we're not getting that, we don't hesitate to move on to the next big thing. Needless to say, my personal privilege also played a role in my being able to do this. Both my parents were and are working professionals who don't yet depend on me for money.

It took my parents quite a while to understand my thought process. If you've watched the Bollywood movie 3 idiots, it's not that easy in real life wherein your parents will have an 'Aha' moment and all is well towards the end. There will be arguments, disagreements, and lots of crying involved.

I told my parents that I wanted to do 'something in the field of media'. They were really confused. Both my parents come from families of doctors, engineers, chartered accountants, and what have you and any career that deviated from the holy triad was, for the lack of a better term to my rather Gen-Z mind, 'sus'. A job in media painted rather obscene images in their head - one where I would be working in an exploitative job that would require me to consume copious amounts of alcohol, recreational drugs, or both. I'm assuming they were a bit too influenced by the show Mad Men. Great show, by the way.

Skipping all the way to August 2020, I quit my job in the midst of a global pandemic. Not that we still aren't in the midst of it, but in 2020, it really seemed like the end of the world, didn't it? Quitting my job was liberating but it was also daunting. I had no backup plan. While I was applying to universities (just two) and giving my TOEFL exam, I didn't really have anything else going on for me. This is the part that I struggled to deal with. All my friends were busy getting promoted, securing that MBA degree and whatnot, and here I was, in the middle of a career identity crisis.

The absolute worst thoughts entered my mind - what if I don't get into the university I want? What if I don't get a job due to the lack of a background in media? What if quitting my job was a huge mistake? And worst of all, if I fail, what if I have to return to engineering? Imagine what people would say. Imagine how disappointed my parents would be. This phase, the 'waiting' phase proved to be the most difficult when I decided to switch careers- waiting to see what sticks after you've thrown caution to the wind.

It's a painful time because you are conjuring up multiple versions of 'what ifs' in your head all while knowing that these intrusive thoughts do no good to the task at hand. Filling out college applications for a course that I had no foundational knowledge of, felt weird. My imposter syndrome kicked in at every juncture and even as I submitted my application, I resolved myself to the scenario that quitting engineering was a big mistake and I would live to be a failure.

When my acceptance letter finally came through in February 2021, the joy and validation I felt is something I can never put down in words. Long story short, this year I graduated with a Master's in Media and Communication, and I now work at a B2B Public Relations agency.

Every day I wake up and look forward to going to work. The learning curve was steep but the journey to learning new things while unlearning old toxic habits was one, I have loved traversing so far. And the best part? I'm actually doing well at my current job (at least from the feedback I've received) and that transformed me into the version of Nikita that I am today - ambitious, driven and utterly satisfied. This has trickled into my personal life as well - my family and friends are genuinely happy to see me this way. Today, I feel content with the life that I have built because I have achieved everything I ever wanted to. Now it's just a matter of keeping that momentum going.

Switching your career can be a very lonely and mentally taxing process. But sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith in yourself. I'm at an entry-level position in a PR agency and most naysayers would tell me that had I continued in engineering I would be earning a lot more money while being in a higher position. True, but I would not be as happy as I am today. And my happiness is something I would never want to trade for anything else.

If you're in an unideal career situation, I highly encourage you to try and seek the happiness you deserve. If you succeed, well great! If you don't, at least you tried.

The seeds for my career pivot were sown in 2019 and in 2022 they bear beautiful fruits.